My Weight Loss Story

Thursday, February 16, 2012

I remember the VERY first time I became aware of my weight.

I was 7 years old. Now looking back, it's hard to believe that years of unhappiness, frustration and just flat out being uncomfortable in my own skin...started so young.

Im the one on the right in the AWESOME pants! Thanks mom & dad! lol
Being a parent has to be such a difficult task because you never know how your words or actions will affect your children....sometimes for years and years.  As you get older, you start to cut your parents a lot more slack because things become clearer to you...but at the can feel like the end of the world.
Soooo what happened when I was 7? I remember walking with my parents and sisters- we were dropping my dad off at work after lunch. My dad made a comment to my mom about my belly- he said they were going to have to watch my weight. My mom said it was only my shirt that made it appear that way....but instantly I knew that was a lie.
From that point on my weight was a CONSTANT cloud over my head. I felt like I could be distracted from thinking about it but inevitably, it would come back to haunt me. Every time I sat down I would subconsciously touch the rolls on my tummy and just sigh.
I don't want to say my family was inactive...but exercise was definitely NOT a part of our lives. We played sports here and there (softball, rode bikes, went to the park) but honestly- I always kinda sucked haha I WANTED to be better at it, I WANTED to enjoy it...but I was always the kid that would rather read during recess than run around.
As far as eating went. we were a "meat & potatoes" kind of family. Vegetables? Um does corn count?? Then dinner was always to be followed up by a late night bowl of ice cream before bed.

I HATED how I felt in this pic! I got good at disguising my weight but I was sooooooo uncomfortable!
My mom struggled with her weight her whole life and battled with bulimia. It was really hard to watch her internal battle and negative self thoughts. Food seemed like the enemy.
It doesn't help that she is way taller!

Add in a skinny sister with a high metabolism...and you have the perfect storm. I HATED being compared to her. I was always referred to as the "thicker sister"  I literally bawled my eyes out the first time I heard that. Add in some sibling fights and being called a "big fat pig" and well...yea that doesnt help.
Somehow throughout high school and my teenage years, I avoided shorts....bikinis...and any and all swimming pools. My choices really were dictated by how I felt about my weight.

Fast foward to my 20s. I bought every workout dvd I could find. I would do them here and there and get absolutely NO results. I felt like I was born this way, this was my fate and there was NOTHING I could do to change it.
Im not saying that I was wayyy overweight but it was enought o hold me back from living my life. I hated that I had rolls when I sat down, I hated that I had to stuff myself into jeans and outfits. I literally was just UNCOMFORTABLE.
Turned 21 and my boyfriend was into fitness. I started running on the treadmill and because I didn't want to seem like "a fat pig" lol I would NEVER eat around him. Weird thinking back becaues we never went out to eat (I actually cant stand eating out) but that meant I went HUNGRY a lot of night.  Why did I torture myself like that?!?!? I ended up losing 6-8 lbs and I felt like a total bad ass. I thought I could keep that up forever....until we broke up. A broken heart and the discovery of bars and late night perogie dinners meant that not only did I gain all of that weight back....but tack on another 10 lbs.

I was going to the gym...running my heart out...spending HOURS on the treadmill and not only did I NOT lose weight...I was actually GAINING weight!!! I guess stopping at Wendys on the way home from the gym wasn't helping lol

It wasn't until I decided to take the leap of faith and try P90X that I started on this crazy journey to really research what it meant to eat in a way that FUELS your body and why that is so important. I used to think that skipping breakfast and starving myself- then binging on fast food and candy was the way to lose weight. I used to think that girls had to run on the treadmill and that was how you lost weight. I used to think I was doomed to be skinny fat forever. Or be that girl thats not.....fat.....but
My P90X Transformation

My goal now? Life my FULLEST and BEST life and help others realize they can do the same. To be like Betty White...she's 90!!! and still running around making tv shows. For people to see me and think "wow that girl takes care of herself"
And guess what....the better you eat....the better you FEEL. The Better you take care of yourself...the more life you stop holding YOURSELF back from become NICER and happier.
Sometimes it's hard to open up and share your story and your struggles...but hopefully someone out there can relate to what Ive gone through and make the decision to TAKE A STAND and fight for their best life!!


If you find yourself struggling and you need support, I'll help coach you along the way. Join for free here
Take hold of life! Seize it!